It Pays To Talk

Sydney Morning Herald

Wednesday February 7, 2007

Rachel Hills

Networking doesn't have to be a hard sell, writes Rachel Hills.

They say it's who you know, not what you know, that counts in this world, and if you're fortunate enough to be the spawn of a High Court judge or have cabinet ministers listed as referees, well, good luck to you.

For the rest of us, knowing the right people means meeting the right people. But if meeting the right people means making small talk before slipping your CV across the table, many of us would prefer to go through life connection-free.

Networking is associated with oversized egos, substance-free friendships and the unpleasant taint of "using" people.

But expanding the circle of people you know has its benefits and the most effective networkers are often those who don't network - at least not in the usual sense. So if phoning your dream employer every day until they offer you a job isn't your style, read on.

Stop trying so hard

Once you put away the business cards and scrap your "objectives" for the evening (yes, some people do use them), meeting new people becomes a whole lot easier. "You shouldn't go out there to try to network," says Seth*, 26, an investment banker. "If you're just out being social and you're a decent person, it will usually happen naturally."

Networking is about building relationships with people, not manipulating them, so focus less on what they can do for you in the future and concentrate on the here and now.

Don't expect instant results

If you've just met someone, chances are they're not going to offer you a job. And there's no surer way to ruin a potential relationship than by asking them for one straight off the bat.

It is something that often happens to FBi Radio presenter Michaella Solar-March. "I'll be introduced to people and they'll say, 'Oh my God, you work at FBi! I've always wanted to work there.' I even get calls from people my friends meet saying, 'I was hoping you could get me a job.' "

It often takes time for professional relationships to bear fruit. "You can't expect to see immediate returns this week because you went to some networking breakfast last week," says corporate editor Sarah Jansen, 27. "It will take a year or two - or 10 - before you start seeing returns on your investment in talking with other people about your work."

Ask the right questions

Talk about work too much and people will think that's the only reason you're talking to them. Comedian Jenny Wynter says: "Sometimes it becomes really apparent that all someone wants is to milk you for information, that you're just a tool for them."

Go beyond the surface. "I like to ask questions that teach you something about the person," says Emma Brown, who runs the networking community Business Chicks. "What are they most excited about at the moment? When have they been most challenged in their life?"

Be consistent

If you say you'll email someone, make sure you do. If your behaviour is perceived as artificial, prepare to suffer the consequences. Independent publisher Lisa Pham, 25, says she hates "getting MySpace friend requests from people in my industry who then don't bother writing messages or comments to actually show they think of me as a friend".

Stay in touch

Wynter, 27, was given the chance to write for ABC's The Glass House 18 months after she met two of its writers at an arts festival. Staying in touch doesn't mean hassling. "There's a fine line between keeping yourself in the back of someone's mind and becoming a pain in the ass," Wynter says. "I remember these women at a filmmakers's conference telling me about people pitching them story ideas as they were going into the toilet."

make the first move

Approaching strangers is tough for most of us and the majority of people will be happy you've taken the pressure off them. And with email and social networking sites, getting in touch is easier than ever.

Once again, sincerity is the key. "I often get intimidated at parties and I have to remember that everyone's in the same boat," Solar-March says. "Don't assume that people want to be wowed - the more people I meet, the more I realise everyone is just normal like me."

* Name has been changed.

© 2007 Sydney Morning Herald

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